I AM FROM THE GOVERNMENT and I am here to help you

Posted on 05/26/2016 | About Chicago, Illinois

So goes the old joke – but when government gets involved, only three things are guaranteed: It will take more people, cost more and be less efficient than the private sector. Sure enough, in the US, since its post 9/11 inception the TSA has not disappointed on any of these metrics.

The government-run TSA has been hitting the headlines again in recent weeks as a result of some monster snarl-ups at security checkpoints that resulted in thousands of passengers missing their flights: At Chicago O’Hare many had to camp out overnight at the airport in airline supplied cots. This phenomenon is not new. Despite asking passengers to arrive at the airport an outrageous three hours before scheduled departure, between March 14th and 20th this year in five of American Airlines’ major hubs almost 7,000 passengers missed their flights due to TSA delays. True to form, rather than accepting this as the failure of a government agency to staff according to predictable demands, a couple of US Senators – Massachusetts’ Markey and Connecticut’s Blumenthal, the same dynamic duo that in March introduced a bill to limit ancillary fees – have tried to lay the blame at the airlines’ door. The pair called on a dozen major carriers to, “take a smart common sense step to help thwart this growing problem and stop charging checked bag fees during the summer months.”

They base this notion on a TSA claim that they see 27 percent more wheelies at checkpoints serving airlines with checked bag fees than at points serving carriers that don’t charge fees... which last time I checked would be Southwest, Southwest and oh yes, Southwest. Speaking for the industry, Airlines of America promptly responded by saying they had not seen any data to support the 27 percent figure and besides, charging for checked bags it not some kind of sudden surprise for the TSA – the practice has been building for the last eight years. Also, at a time when (as projected) there is a 12 percent increase in passenger traffic, is there any chance that a simultaneous seven percent reduction in screeners due to federal budget cuts might have something to do with the ensuing chaos? It is interesting to note that the airport that suffers the fewest security delays appears to be Washington Reagan National. Could it be a coincidence that, on a daily basis, DCA sees more senators, congressmen and politicos in general than just about any other airport on the planet? Checking average wait times on the TSA’s app, at time of writing there were zero delays at DCA. LaGuardia (Vice President Biden’s favorite third world airport) in the meantime had 20-25 minutes and Miami was showing “25+”… just what that means one can only guess.

The Canadian Air Transport Security Authority (CATSA) uses similar terminology but it is usually far more positive in a negative kind of a way. Now I too am talking like a politician - maybe that requires an explanation. Also at this writing CATSA’s website for “Current Wait Times”  shows every terminal checkpoint at YYZ as being “Less than five minutes”. That could in theory mean zero wait, which is what makes it a positive negative. Vancouver is showing 10-15 at Terminal C and 5-10 at Terminal E, everywhere else shows “Less than 5”. To CATSA’s credit, of the 14 Canadian gateways listed, 10-15 minutes was the longest wait time shown, with the vast majority being “Less than 5.” I don’t know what CATSA is doing differently to its US counterpart but whatever it is seems to be working. Contrary to the assertions of Messrs. Markey and Blumenthal that ceasing to charge for checked bags is the solution to bottlenecks – something that is not going to happen - surely the obvious answer is to start charging for carry on wheelie bags. This would not only improve the TSA process but also the boarding and onboard experiences.

There’s always been a problem with passengers pushing the carry-on limits but charging for checked bags only served to create an even greater incentive to carry more and bigger bags on board. Only a couple of carriers, led by Spirit, have cracked the code – they charge more to carry a bag on board than to check it, thereby creating the incentive not to carry it on board. Take a Spirit flight and the lack of carry on and overhead bin battles is a delight to behold. But long lines are only the tip of the iceberg. If the time in line served to ensure genuine security then maybe it would be worthwhile, last year however Homeland Security agents posing as passengers were able to get weapons and explosives past TSA agents in 67 out of 70 tests. That’s a 95 percent failure rate! Between that and the fact that since it began operations there have been more arrests of TSA agents than by TSA agents and one really wonders just what on earth is going on here. Rather than blaming this disastrously flawed agency’s performance on the airlines, the US government needs to make a decision - either they turn the whole thing back to the private sector or they put someone who understands the magnitude of the challenge in charge of turning the whole mess around. Like any business, that will necessitate giving them adequate funding to ensure sufficiently qualified and upstanding candidates are hired, properly trained and on hand to meet the highly predictable flow of airline passengers by time of day, day of the week and season of the year. Simple!

Or maybe banning all carry-on baggage, shoes other than open-toed sandals, and clothing other than tee shirts and shorts is the only real answer.