FAREY TALES

Posted on 02/25/2016 | About Toronto, Ontario

It was intriguing to read this week how much it seems the good burghers of Toronto have been aggrieved at having to pay $27.50 for a 25-minute “Express” train ride from Union Station to YYZ.  Such was the angst that Ontario’s Transportation Minister, Steven Del Duca saw fit to get involved with the happy outcome that, as of March 9, the fare will come down to a much more reasonable $12.00.

Bravo. I am sure this reduced, less than half price, train fare will see a surge of new air travellers headed in Lester B’s direction… or maybe not!

The unfortunate part, albeit one that is clearly outside Mr. Del Duca’s remit, is that it is not the fares to the airport that is the real problem - it is the fares from the airport.

Before getting into that however, in defense of a 25-minute Union-Pearson (UP) ride for $27.50, it has to be said that it is far from high when compared to other notable major airports. Take London Heathrow (please!) for example. 

The Heathrow Express, which, once you have navigated several miles of tunnels, escalators and elevators to get to it, offers a 15-minute ride to Paddington Station and has been a huge rip-off for years. Currently a one-way, tongue in cheekily branded ‘Saver’ ticket will run you £22 ($43.00).  Or, from a per-minute on the train perspective, the Heathrow Express costs riders $2.85 versus the old UP fare of just   $1.10.

Historically of course, getting to and from the airport should be the inexpensive part compared to the cost of buying flights to destinations that are a plane ride away.  In Canada, whatever the cost of getting to the airport, this equation is guaranteed given the lack of a single low or ultra low cost carrier, combined with the outrageous taxes and fees levied on fliers. If an airline sells a ticket in Canada for a dollar, the all-in cost to the purchaser will put it close to $100.

In Europe however, the high degree of competition between a host of ultra low cost airlines, has created some fascinating train versus plane cost scenarios.  For example, the price of the 50-minute airport express train ride from London’s Liverpool Street Station to Stansted Airport, Ryanair’s biggest base, is just £19 ($36.00). 

On any given day on Ryanair’s homepage you’ll find a long list of destinations that are available for the same price or less than that of the train ticket to the airport. Today there were 24 destinations ranging from Oslo to Ibiza all at fares under €20 euros ($30.00) – or less than the London – Stansted train-fare!

Now of course with Ryanair, one has to be more than a little wary as to the distance between their perceived destinations and the places to which they are actually taking you. Somewhere like Ibiza is pretty safe as it is a very small island, but fly with them to what is advertised as ‘Frankfurt HHN’ and, should you fail to check out the ‘HHN’ part, a rude surprise awaits: HHN is Hahn Airport, which is to Frankfurt what Plattsburgh NY is to Montreal, or ‘Montreal PBC’ as Allegiant advertises it.  Both HHN and PBC are about 70 miles from what could best be termed, “the implied destination” – at least in Hahn’s case it is in the right country!

In Europe, the ready availability of such ridiculously low fares has spawned a whole new breed of mystery trippers who’ll happily head out to the airport and, once there, decide where they want to go for an impromptu adventure.

 Today’s under $30 list from Stansted on Ryanair featured among others, Brussels, Cologne, Bordeaux, Tours, and ‘Paris BVA’ - the ‘BVA’ being Beauvais, which is a mere 75-minute train ride from the Gare du Nord. Trippers have to be sure to check the return fare as that can often be considerably higher, but even if it is three or four times the outbound, it still represents an amazing deal.

Sounds like fun no?  So, imagine taking advantage of the new UP $12 fare to Pearson and then looking around for an interesting, well-priced destination. Actually, don’t waste your time as, needless to say, there’s only one. It goes by the name of Muddy York: A world-class city and it’s only a $12 train ride away.