EMOTIONAL SUPPORT Coming to a seat near you

Posted on 05/19/2016

When flying alone you get to pick your destination, your airline, your flight and your seat. The one thing you cannot do is to choose who sits next to you. I have always thought the ability to somehow preselect your neighbor would be a hugely popular option but would you be able to trust the posted descriptions of other passengers?

If for instance you read, “It's hard to say enough about how special he is. He’s intelligent, observant and friendly with and a go-with-the-flow attitude. He has great manners, no rude behaviors and is very level headed” you’d probably think, “That’s someone I could sit next to.” There again maybe not. The ‘he’ in question is a 100-pound miniature horse called Eagle - the description is what is as posted for him at equinenow.com. Okay, maybe a bit far-fetched as Eagle wouldn’t be flying on his own. You could however still end up sitting next to him some day on a WestJet fight. Yes really - you can’t make this stuff up! Perhaps fortunately, it a little known fact that ‘emotional support animals’ or ESA’s for those in the know, can go way beyond the familiar guide dog in a harness. Here for instance is what WestJet’s website has to say about them:

“WestJet accepts emotional support dogs, cats, miniature horses, pigs and monkeys on flights to most destinations (see our entrance and import regulations below for exclusions). Other "unusual animals" (with the exception of snakes, reptiles, ferrets, rodents and spiders which pose safety and/or public health concerns) may be accepted as an emotional support animal on a case-by-case basis.” Hey, no spiders? That’s not fair. I’d find ‘Veenom’ my pet tarantula very comforting on flights and he’d probably clear an empty seat next to me. Guess I’ll just have to take ‘Muddy’ the pot-bellied pig instead. Quite what other “unusual animals” may actually get the nod is mindboggling. Might an Australian passenger have a pet kangaroo or New Zealander a kiwi? I don’t believe the passenger was Turkish but one recently reported sighting on a Delta flight was a fully-grown (live) turkey. It seems the bird had the correct ESA paperwork and as a result was not only boarded but also given its own seat. No it was not at Thanksgiving, I checked.

Okay let’s be serious for a moment. There are people who genuinely suffer from psychological disabilities for whom having their pet monkey in their lap will reduce anxiety levels in flight. It should be noted here that an ESA is not supposed to be any larger than “a two-year-old child” but that is tantamount to saying they shouldn’t be any longer than a piece of string. The real question is just when do the rights of the person in the adjacent seat come into play? Having even an extremely well behaved Bubbles the chimp staring at me from a couple of feet away is assuredly going to increase my anxiety levels. And, as with human beings, air travel can sometimes bring out the worst behavior in animals too. An example would be the 80-pound Emotional Support Porker that United Airlines threw off a flight last December after the animal howled and did his business in the aisle before the airplane had even left the gate.

This mishap presumably would not have happened on Delta, which, in its ESA rules clearly states, “the animal should be trained to behave properly in public settings.” “Okay Porky, no pooping in the aisle now. Remember we’re on Delta not United.” There are numerous reports in the US that the Air Carrier Access Act is being very effectively scammed by travelers who want to avoid paying the standard pet fees of $75 to $125 and get their oversized canines or regular-sized pigs to sit with them for free in flight. While technically a doctor’s note is required to say the ESA is required because of a mental condition, it seems a lot of carriers are incredibly lax about it and will wave through the cute little bunny-in-a-bag or pig-in-a-pack without missing a beat. If this whole menagerie of the skies situation worries you then there is an easy way to avoid it: Fly Air Canada. Based on concerns for both passengers and cabin crews, AC has long been an opponent of animals in the cabin. You might still get a large ‘psychiatric service dog’ sitting next to you but that is the only kind of animal the airline accepts - no monkeys, no miniature horses no chimps.

On the other hand, if you are seriously concerned that your airplane could be struck by an avalanche, maybe you should fly WestJet. In addition to the rest of the zoo, WestJet also carries ‘specialty dogs.’ These are animals trained to perform “professional functions” such as search and rescue and avalanche rescues. You might want to think about it… you can never be too careful.